This yarn tells the tale of the final days of Barnstoneworth United of the Yorkshire Premier League in 1935. "Golden Gordon" is not a player, but their biggest (and some would say only) fan. Gordon Ottershaw (Michael Palin) spends his whole life surrounded by everything Barnstoneworth, and after every weekly heavy defeat, he comes home and smashes up the front room in disgust. Wife (played by Gwen Taylor) not too impressed. LP cover picture taken half way through a smashing session after an 8-1 home defeat. The clock goes out of the front window (and onto the street - dunno where the grass came from on the back cover!)
The LP name comes from Gordon telling his son (named Barnstoneworth United Ottershaw) about the glory days of the 20's, when Barnstoneworth won things. Team names get reeled out many times, and nos. 9, 10 & 11 are usually MacIntyre, Treadmore and Davitt. Davitt seems to have scored twice in virtually every match, with bullet headers ("he once scored with the back of 'is 'ead, from 28 yards").
Anyway, at an emergency meeting (held in the social club that Gordon has smashed up), the chairmen decide to sell the club to a scrap dealer, and so the following Saturday's cup match is to be B Utd's last. As the team only has about 4 players (and three pairs of shorts) left, Gordon goes off and rounds up the star team from the early 20's, to play the final match. MacIntyre & Treadmore are never revealed, but Davitt (played by Roger Sloman, perennial baldie in half-hour sitcoms and kids TV) is the star man, and scores what is presumably the winner with a header. Gordon runs off home, announces the victory, and the whole family smash up the front room. Mrs O lobs the clock out of the window to finish the yarn.
There, that's got most of it in. John Cleese appears in this as well (as "a passer-by").
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