Interview with fanzine given away at the ‘Asparagus Next Left Club’ at Manchester’s Star & Garter

http://www.myspace.com/asparagusnextleftclub

Q: According to the Guardian you have legions of 'famous' fans. Does it worry you that people like Tracey Emin and (perhaps more disconcertingly)
Robbie Williams allegedly enjoy your music? Who's the most unlikely 'celeb fan' you've come across?

A: The Guardian must have just 'heard something along those lines' and decided that those people mentioned are therefore, 'fans of the band'- I'm not aware of any of this but it certainly doesn't embarrass me as it's somewhat out of my hands as regards to who can and can't like our stuff. I imagine those two whom you mention however, if you were with them up a mountain (minus acolytes) would probably be decent enough types. They'd undoubtedly wonder who I was though I'm sure. The broadsheets are not Gospel either.(I feel as if that should be sprayed on a wall somewhere).
Our most unlikeliest 'celeb' fan by a mile is, of course, Hilary Clinton. I also like the fact that Fabian Cancellara has everything (EVERYTHING!) by the band including sessions and vinyl alternatives. 'Go Fab'.

Q: Did Dean Friedman really engage in a 'spat' with you? Have you upset anyone famous recently? (Brad Friedel looked quite chuffed when they played him 'I Went to a Wedding' on Football Focus).

A: Mr Friedman has always been nothing less than a good sport regarding the song and when we met him once at a gig in Edinburgh he would have got up on stage to join in on the blighter had it not been for the fact that we didn't play it and the liaison took place post performance. Lovely bloke though etc....

Q: Are the rumours about your restrictive gigging habits exaggerated? (I've been told you only do gigs on Thursdays, but this can't be true, because I have seen you play on a Wednesday and a Friday).  Do you enjoy the curmudgeonly reputation that stems from such rumours?

A: It's not set in stone but Thursdays are generally the one day when we're all sort of 'not doing anything else'. It's as mundane as that really.  Motorway marginally quieter perhaps also.

Q: Do you do any voiceover work these days?  I'm sure I've heard you on a car advert recently, though it might have been someone off Brookside.

A: I am the voice of Merseyrail Lifts-"Doors closing"- I got a quaint stipend and unlimited use. Marvellous.

Q: Thanks for teaching me everything I know about football. Have any HMHB lines ever caught on as chants at Tranmere games?

A: No. How could one possibly top the seminal 70's chant of "one, two, three four five, if you wanna stay alive, KEEP OUT THE COWSHED!"....That borders on Swinburne for me.

Q: You often play unusual venues in obscure small towns. The last venue I saw you in had its own gift shop (Ulverston Town Hall). Do you choose these locations personally and do you have a favourite?

A: Others have mentioned this also but it's not something we're that conscious of, though all the same, as you correctly suggest, rolling up to play in somewhere like Ulverston does make a pleasant change now and again. We've performed on Lindisfarne as well. Oh, and Telford Tax Office.

Q: I have a vinyl copy of your 1991 collaboration with Margi Clarke, but nothing to listen to it on. Is it any good?

A:  If you could just play the bass line then it's absolutely magnificent. I'll leave it at that. Having said, that I actually know of someone in the Teesside area who thinks it's the best thing we've ever done!(?) - lives in the attic mind...

Q:  I expect you earn enough these days not to have to sign on anymore. Do you still get as much daytime telly-watching in as you used to? Any current recommendations for the elderly and unemployed?

A:  I maintain that I only ever watched as much television as anyone else under 25 in the eighties as most of us were on the dole of course and there were only three/four channels so people would sort of accept what was broadcast to them. In the same position today, I'm not sure if I'd be the expert on The Sullivans that I unequivocally am. Go on, test me!
I'm more selective these days of course as there's acres more choice and besides during the past twenty five years or so I've erm...'branched out' as it were.  That late afternoon Channel 4 thing still works though if I'm relaxing after a bike ride with a bowl of cornflakes.

Q:  Where did you get a guitar shaped like a caravan?

A:  I found it in a lay-by near Llanbedrog.  It's a ridiculous thing I know.....

Q:  Who'll end up doing better in league 1, Stockport County or Tranmere? (From David)

A:  Should that not be 'Which one of us is going to be worse than the other this season'?-We're fairly average again as usual but y'know, one lives with it. Many fond memories of Edgeley Park -(promotion clincher in 76 for one)-the two clubs as you are no doubt aware, are massively similar, bigger neighbours to contend with etc...   We’re playing you very soon I think.