I saw some notes from Coventry where someone was complaining about being blocked off at the front of the gig. I'm sorry if that was aimed at me. I don't think it was. I've always thought that The HMHB Massive is an inclusive (and, on the whole, friendly) bunch. Shame that not everyone thinks that way. However I like to have a resting point for the notepad, so the very front is the best place to be. Hence our early arrival before doors open at these things.
Oh aye, and the support band at Coventry was "Crapsons". Not "THE Crapsons". There is definitely no definite article. As evidenced on a couple of t-shirts in my possession, as well as a handful of CDs. See also "Buzzcocks".
We found ourselves watching a repeat of a Les Dawson-fronted Blankety Blank. There were a number of HMHB references on the panel. Don McLean, Clare Rayner and Lynsey De Paul. Quality, wholesome entertainment.
I think I've mentioned King Rocker, being the film about The Nightingales. Glad to see the comment on Chris's site from Cream Cheese And Chives, where he praised this film. There's something else for you to track down...
And you'll also find John Robb's The Art Of Darkness on a bookshelf somewhere or other. It is labelled The History Of Goth. Not many writers will have covered this area in more detail. I didn't know the first thing about Clan Of Xymox beyond their mention in HMHB's Faithlift. I must say I don't know much more about them now. But John's book filled in one or two gaps in my knowledge. And there is a fine quote from one of the interviewees on the very last page... "It's not easy being a goth in Morocco."
From there I moved on to Nige Tassell's Butch Wilkins And The Sundance Kid. This "chronicles Nige's decade-long obsession with televised sport as a teenager during the 1980s". Plenty of football is featured. Getting home too late to see Bryan Robson's first-minute goal in the 1982 World Cup. As well as the "And Smith must score" FA Cup final when Brighton were playing. There's the Evert v Navratilova rivalry. And Ian Botham's efforts in the Ashes against Australia. I was at Wembley in May 1983 to see Featherstone Rovers upset the odds when they beat Hull in Rugby League's Challenge Cup final. Nige was at home watching on TV, and he affords it a couple of pages here. There is also a section on regionalised Sunday afternoon football highlights, where your local channel - whether it be Yorkshire TV, Granada, ATV, Anglia et al - would show a main game and would follow it with highlights from elsewhere in the country. And Nige is not afraid to address the grim stuff, Heysel, Valley Parade and Hillsborough. There was an interesting point about the TV presenter, the "almost illegal" Elton Welsby. Full name is Roger Elton Welsby, but he "ditched his first name in favour of the marginally more rock and roll Elton". The git. If ever I see Elton, I will remind him that Roger is also a rock and roll name. McGuinn, Daltrey, Waters and, er, Taylor. There is a section on the Ben Johnson-Carl Lewis business at the 1988 Olympics. "The fraud of the rings". You possibly have to remember the 1980s in order to get the most out of this book. But I'm guessing that a lot of the HMHB fanbase can do that. It's a grand read. (And "Nigel Blackwell" gets a mention in the Acknowledgements.)
More recently I have been reading Hungry Beat by Douglas Macintyre and Grant McPhee with Neil Cooper. This covers "The Scottish Independent Pop Underground 1977-1984". Plenty in there about Fast Records, and their opening of doors for The Gang Of Four, The Human League and others. Fast also had a hand in unleashing The Stupid Babies. I remember their song "Babysitters" getting a lot of Peel airtime. And I never knew that one of them grew up to be Adamski. There is also plenty in there about Postcard Records supporting the rise of Orange Juice.
Sorry to hear that Frank Ifield stepped down from that windmill. RIP. It reminded me that he was Number One in the Hit Parade with Wayward Wind on the day that I was born.
A few folk mentioned on Chris's site that they were going to see The Lovely Eggs around late May/ early June at various points on the compass. Karen and I were part of a fair Biscuiteer delegation when they played at The Brudenell in Leeds. We met John, Elizabeth, Huddersfield Graham and Nigel from Goole. Another fine show from that band, including grand support from Loose Articles and poet Violet Malice.
Over the past few years we have been to see another Wirral band, The Webb, on a number of occasions. Goth music for non-goths. That's how I would describe them. They have decided to call it a day. Great shame. That's another good band gone west. We went to their final live show in Sheffield.
Just three more HMHB gigs currently lie in the diary. Sheffield in October, Cardiff next March and Ulverston in May. Bearing in mind the number of people that went on Chris's site trying to get tickets for this one in Holmfirth, I hope folk are reminded that these things now regularly sell out. All I can say is that you need to follow Fred Pontin's advice. And if you can't remember who Fred Pontin was... Book early!
Friday afternoon getting to Holmfirth by car is not easy. I could have got there quicker if I had parked up in New Mill and walked the last few miles from there. It was worth it in the end though. I had been at work, so earlier in the day Karen got the bus through and checked in at The Old Bridge. We said hello to Carl from the band and Paula whilst on our way to Hollowgate Fisheries with Andrew and Phill for the usual pre-gig tea, followed by afters at the ice cream parlour next door. Tourism par excellence.
While out and about we also saw Ben from Modern Marriage, John, Postman Tony (thanks for the bucket hat), Steve, Brian and one or two others.
The Yorkshire Post used to have a Culture supplement on Fridays. This has now been reduced to a handful of reviews in the main body of the paper. No chance of a mention of the HMHB show, which was also overlooked by the Leisure And Motors section of The Huddersfield Daily Examiner. Not that any coverage was needed. The gig had sold out long since.
Many thanks to Exxo for passing on the Order Of Service card from Geoff's funeral last year. We were sorry to miss that, being away on hols at the time. But we paid our own tribute on the day. It was nice to read how it all went. And it reminded me that the last time I saw and spoke to Geoff was in this very venue in Holmfirth.
As usual, we didn't hang about getting in the queue. But even then, Graham and Sarah had beaten us there. Tony, Alison, Phill and Andrew all had a similar plan. Alex, Lynn, Lou, Pete from Worksop (first time we've seen him for a while), Postman Tony, John, Peter and Steve all contributed to a sizeable queue by the time the doors opened. Mo also joined us down at the front. I ought to mention the price of bottles of water. At £1.50, we reckoned that is about half what you would expect to pay at bigger venues. Nice.
Nothing new at Miles's stall. He was ably assisted by Pete. Surely some new product is due somewhere in the not too distant. After a Hello with Katherine and Karl, it was time for Modern Marriage, another band hailing from Birkenhead. Frontman Ben established that the travelling fans from The Wirral outnumbered the Yorkshire locals. Hmm, not quite sure about that, but let's go with Ben's estimate. In any case, there were quite a few folk singing along to Modern Marriage's songs. I would have done the same, but the only one I know that well is Gerry And His Pacemaker.
Thanks to Ben for the set list. All very brief and to the point. Lobster Bry Radnor Grim Up North Speke Kenny Dear John Gerry
It's good when HMHB arrange their own support act. I hope Modern Marriage can get the job again.
There were a few more Hellos during the interval. Michael from Indignation Meeting handed us a list of their upcoming engagements. Claire (Mrs Exford) said Hello, I spoke briefly with Andy, and met Sue, who is from the same estate where Neil and Nigel grew up. She even showed me a Google map detailing the exact points.
I wrote down the words "Crass film" in my notepad. Someone must have mentioned this to me. It needs looking into. Karen thinks that it is showing in Leeds and Sheffield. Surely a documentary rather than a dramatization...?
Rhinestone Cowboy was tonight's HMHB walk-on music. There was a fine singalong from the moshpit, before the show started with The Light At The End Of The Tunnel. "Anyone in from Redruth?" asked Nigel. There was no reply. He had obviously lost a bet, so handed a tenner to Karl.
Someone asked Nigel where his glasses were. He said he only wears them because of his glaucoma. When someone else shouted "Fuckin' 'Ell", Nigel replied "That's nearly one of our songs. I would play it, but it's a democracy. Democracy is not really a good thing in a band." In Renfield's Afoot, booking was Absolutely Essential, which was underlined. Nigel also noted the point about Strictly No Dogs. "God knows why, because the bats are in the air."
Jodie Comer was spotted. "Don't put the spotlight on. I think it really is her... I know it's your birthday, but stop leaning on the defibrillator. Any time this year with those step ladders." Tending The Wrong Grave is a true story. During the Meadow Of Consolation section, Nigel said he didn't expect to hear the soundtrack of an East European Cold War cartoon (Neil). Nor did he expect to find himself among the Delia Darbyshire Society (Karl). We had a topical observation from Nigel, "Even the glebe cow drooled before it was run over by a police car." This was followed by a line from The Fall's Hip Priest. "He is not appreciated."
"This one's for anyone called Joyce," announced Nigel. Loud cheers came from the floor. Nigel turned to Karl. "I told you there would be loads in called Joyce."
Round of applause for the bouncer who helped Mo out when she dropped her phone over the barrier at the front. He showed some Olympic standard gymnastics to hurdle the barrier and retrieve the item for her. It all added to the entertainment value while the gig was going on.
Someone in the crowd mentioned The Last Of The Summer Wine. To which Nigel replied "More cheese, Grommit?" Then came the response "Wrong programme!" Nigel had predicted that someone would correct him on this, showing Tony proof that he had written this down in advance. It's all getting a bit too clever for me.
Nigel confessed that he always mixes up Walter Swinburn and Algernon Swinburne. And he has a similar recognition problem with Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen and Dave Grohl. We were told that Llewelyn-Bowen used to be part of The Middlesbrough Massive and that he owns the skeleton of PG Wodehouse. And Nigel was wondering if there is a verb "to pundit", after discussing how much he dislikes the way that Micah Richards laughs so much. Following that, the band played Bob Wilson Anchorman, which Nigel introduced as being "mildly topical, but not specifically."
Nigel sneaked a look at what I was writing in my notepad. (Actually it was "99% of Gargoyles".) He said to Karl "Do us a favour. Can you tune this for us?" as he handed him his guitar. Tony shouted out the score from tonight's European Championship match. "Netherlands 0 France 0". "Good job I'm not taping it," replied Nigel. "There'll be people here who don't want to know the score."
It was grand to hear the return of Twenty-Four Hour Garage People. The sliding tray device is known in the trade as a Chuckle Brother. ("To me. To you. To me. To you."). Nigel orders Sour Cream And Chives Pringles, even though he knows they don't exist. The employee finds the key for the back of the shop underneath a Jim Davidson CD. All Nigel's friends from the Conga Society are back from the AGM and are itching to rehearse. They are in the queue behind him. Four of them need seeded bread. Rosie wants posh marmalade, Russ wants a Street Atlas of Kilmarnock and Lost Oliver taunts the guy behind the counter, asking for a pint of milk, semi-skilled. "Much like yourself." The garage guy was drinking from a "I Love Peaky Blinders" mug, and his Wordsearch puzzle included "Relationships", "Unlikely", "Magistrates", "Community" "Service" and "Kawasaki". He was getting crimson faced, as this is the fifth time this month that Nigel has done this. "Serves them right for opening all day and all night," Nigel could hear a Harry Potter novel through the discarded earphones. The sandwich options included bacon, lettuce and tomato with e-coli.
After that, Ben from Modern Marriage walked back on, to play the trumpet on Big Man Up Front. Terminus was "for anyone who's in from Weybridge in Surrey." Ben returned later to play on Misirlou. After Dukla Prague, Nigel commented "I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I'm more of a Striker man. It's better than Subbuteo."
Restless Legs is a true story. It ended with the Joni Mitchell line about putting up a parking lot. We were treated to the "A Moray" ditty again. The mosh pit was getting increasingly frenetic. Nothing wrong with that. A bit of to-ing and fro-ing and pushing and shoving. That's all part and parcel of these evenings out. But were you the "gentleman" who was pulling Karen's hair? That was offside. Maybe we can discuss that sometime?
It was either We Built This Village or Every Time A Bell Rings that was inspired by the film Flashdance. And Nigel is still working on his stand-up comedy routine... "What has three legs and eats fish and chips? Don and Ivy Brennan." Coming back for the encore, Nigel said "We're OK for time. It's a twenty-four-hour city... Well, a twenty-four-hour town.". Before Transmission, he said "Join in if you know the words. So if we fuck it up, it's not our fault."
Here is what the band played....
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel Is The Light Of An Oncoming TrainAnd in the encore...
Midnight Mass MurderThanks to Karl for the set list, which was subjected to audit. It was a true and fair record. Graham Le Taxi duly took a photo of it. And that was the evening done.
On the Saturday morning, we had a hearty breakfast at The Old Bridge in the company of other residents John, Drew, Tony, Postman Tony, Phill, Brian and Mrs Brian. Then we drove home and were back for noon. We very rarely get back that early from a HMHB night. Must be about a hundred sleeps to the Sheffield gig. Congrats to Karen, reaching three quarters of a century of these evenings. Many more to come, starting with that Sheffield one in October.
Not long now before Wakefield has a Mayor called Darren.